Resolutions

I say it every year, “This year is going to be the year I get my shit together". But I really feel that this year, really is the year. I have grown so tired of being broke, feeling defeated and just the general “my life sucks” sentiments.

Every New Year when the clock strikes twelve and we bid adieu to the year past and say bonjour to the upcoming 365, I vow to myself that I am going to change my life and be the person I have envisioned. I write elaborate goals, set a strict budget, start exercising and eating “clean” and open my crisp new day planner and vow to fill it with important appointments, which I, again, vow to keep. But, by Feb 1st, my appointment book is empty or underused, my fridge is full of junk and my bank account is (still) empty.

These resolution revelations have me thinking a lot lately about my goals for next year and the whole idea of resolutions. Resolutions are easy. It is so easy to get caught up in the hullabaloo of the upcoming year, with the noisemakers, champagne toasts and midnight kisses. It is no wonder I get carried with that elation and vow to change the world, or my life, completely. Resolutions ARE easy, I mean, everyone and their dog makes resolutions; but, real life changes are rather hard; I say this from years of experience making empty resolutions. When the champagne is drunk and the noisemakers have gone quiet, that’s when the real work begins.

I have already carefully crafted my intentions for the following year, but I am firm on the fact that they are NOT resolutions. I am done with resolutions, they are only there to make the gyms and therapists money, they are the perfect way to be set up for failure and disappointment; and, failure and disappointment are SOOOO last year. So I say “FUCK THEM”, they are motherfuckers and they deserve to be eradicated from everyone’s vocabulary and thoughts. Resolutions act out hate crimes on people’s dreams; and, I am, personally, leaving all that bullshit behind, and I think you should follow suit.


This year I will be a writer, I will be a full time caterer and most important of all intentions, I will make myself proud.

This year IS going to be my year; and, I cannot fucking wait.

Intentions cont.

I seemed to have left one crucial intention out:

7) Respect the people in my life, by guiding my actions in a considerate way.

It is a simple one but very recently an action that I took, very selfishly, hurt someone, who I respect trememdously. So a revision to my intentions was in order.

Thats it, thats all.

Omission of information

My mom has always told me to watch my mouth, and today I know exactly what she means. My uncensored candor, with which I approach this blog, has come back to bite me in the ass. This is nothing new to me, as I have always said what I wanted no matter the recourse; but, as I get older, the repercussions of my actions have quite a bit more effect than times of old.

I have created a forum for myself where I can be completely honest; however, as honest as I am here, with some people I have not been quite as open. Which is my fault and my choice, but today I was forced to own up to this omission of information. All day I was racked with guilt, as my words or lack thereof, have caused someone to feel as though I was dishonest with them. I hate the feeling of being lied to, it hurts and to know that my actions hurt someone is hard to bear. It is debatable whether leaving information out, is as bad as lying; regardless, I feel like an asshole and there is no debating that.

Long story short, this blog isn't as anonymous as I thought it was; so I had better watch what I say.

Today’s post is going to be brief, as I think I have said enough.

Intentions

The recent dump of snow on this city is a reminder that it is almost that time of year. No, not Christmas, New Years. I, like many others, make New Year’s resolutions every year. This year I started my fitness resolution early but that's as far as I have taken it. Personally I hate the word resolution, it conjures up images of unused gym memberships of years gone by; so this year I am calling them Intentions.

It is no secret that this past year, has been a trying one for me; many changes to my family, my job and my friendships have made for a year full of growing pains. Because or despite all those things, I am determined to make 2010 “THE YEAR”.

A few years ago, I, along with millions upon millions of people, read "The Secret" and in that book, the author details the need to put things out into the universe, thus driving it to work for me and my goals, in a positive way. So today I am doing just that. This is a candid confession of what I want for myself.

Here goes:

1) I want to be a writer, a paid writer. I want to write for the Edmonton City Palate, the Calgary City Palate, Avenue Magazine and pretty much anyone who will have me. I am willing to whore my writing out to anyone who wants it. I have a vision of a column that details my adventures discovering different food scenes and my culinary life, as a new graduate, young caterer and regular bonne vivante.

2) I want my blogs to be read by many. I want my food blog "What's For Dinner" to be a part of the Martha's Circle Group, which is a group of beautiful blogs devoted to lifestyle. I love Martha Stewart, she is a lifestyle genius and to be a part of that exclusive group of bloggers, which I hold in very high regard, would be an honor.

3) I want my blogs to turn a profit, through advertising of course. I am not after anything major, just a little stipend to supplement my income. I write these blogs for the love of it, but a little coin would be nice.

4) I want to write a book, one with pretty pictures and delicious recipes, that people will keep on their shelves as a trusted kitchen companion. This, most certainly, is a lofty aspiration, considering I just began this journey of writing, but 'The Secret" says that I have to put it out there, so that cat is out the bag.

5) I want my catering business to triple its size, to a point where I can make my living off of it. I want Christopher and I's company to be considered one of the premier catering companies in Edmonton. On my own, I feel I probably could not achieve this, but I can honestly say, with my best friend and confidant by my side, I feel anything is possible. And with the universe's help, Martha had better watch out!

6) Love, Love, Love. I have been decidedly single for the last year and half; no one has really caught my eye and quite frankly, these eyes weren't looking. But 2010, is the year of my quarter century anniversary, and I think it's high time I share this adventure I call life, with someone else. I'm a hoot; it would be unfair to deprive someone of me any longer. (Humility is my resolution for 2011)

Universe, work your magic!



**you will notice I make no mention of exercise, I think I have that under control; besides, every year I make that type of resolution, I am trying to get away from redundancy.