Slippery Slope

It would seem that I am a fair-weather vegetarian. After a few slipups and resolutions to keep myself in line, I had meat on Thursday and I felt as though I was beginning a slow slide down a slippery slope. The Thursday in question, my friend Corin offered to make me salad and I, never one to turn down a free meal, agreed; but, when I got there, the salad had chicken in it. Not just any run of the mill chicken, it was moist and delicious and I had a(nother) weak moment, and I ate the damn salad. It was harmless enough, I thought, but then today I woke up hung over, a Saturday ritual, and all I wanted was a steak or wings or bacon, anything meaty would have done just fine. So to appease my hunger and prevent another slip, I ate everything in sight, other than meat; and, nothing. All day I felt hungry. I had a huge salad, a plate of pasta and several snacks and I was STILL hungry; ravenous by the time dinner rolled around.

My grandmother was having the family over for dinner this evening, and she graciously accommodated my new lifestyle choice and made me fish; but, she also had wings and potato skins with bacon, like what the f*#k. So needless to say, I slipped. I didn't just slip, I ate, what felt like, a million wings, 3 potato skins and my pride. Once I started I could not stop.

I mean, I, typically, don't work out on weekends, because I am usually hung over and I think having the expectation of myself and then not following through, only makes for disappointments; so perhaps I should take that approach with eating meat; because it would seem that being hung over, renders my resolve to not eat meat, absolutely useless. So maybe my new approach should be, no meat in the week and whatever happens on the weekend is out of my hands. Yes! I like the way that sounds.

I was telling my friend Corin, the chicken salad girl, that I had slipped again and I was lamenting that I was a lackadaisical vegetarian, to which she replied "those are the best kind!"
I like the way she thinks.

Slip ups and Hiccups cont.

I broke again. I had meat. I was super hungover from Saturday night's antics and I broke. Chris' coworker makes tortiere and she gave him one; he made the whole pie and the smell was so overwhelming, I could not help myself. What can I say, my resolve to not eat meat was very very weak, due to my state. I had a monstrous salad for lupper(lunch and supper), and some quinoa for breakfast; but, the only thing my body wanted was meat. I had the smallest sliver of tortiere and feel horrible about it and made Chris promise not to tell anyone. But I've dusted off my shoulders, spilled the beans, repented and I am back on the wagon. This time I spared myself the scare tactics, I was in enough pain.

Shock Therapy

After my slip up yesterday, I decided it was time for some shock therapy. If this is going to be a success, I need to be drastic. This morning, I spent an hour forcing myself to watch those horrible PETA style videos. Even made myself cry. Oh yes, I am serious about this. So I watched, shed a tear and recommitted to this challenge. I also decided that I am going to adopt pescatarianism as a semi permanent thing. My new goal is 6 months. 6 months of no meat, is a daunting thought, especially for an admitted carnivore such as myself; but, the shock therapy worked better than I had anticipated. I have yet to go do a full on "I'm a veggie now" grocery shop, but I am confident that once I do that, things will get easier and I won't have to be so hardcore and resort to scare tactics. But I will say this, and don't think that I am trying to employ hypocrisy; but, I will eat meat, under very strict guidelines. It must be local, organic and sustainably raised and it must be bought directly from the farmer, I want to meet the man (or woman) who raised this animal from infancy and look into their eyes; I want to put a face to my meat, if you know what I mean. I think that is fair, it's the least I could do.

1 (and a half) week(s) to eat

I broke. I ate meat. I was prepping for a catering job and beef stew was on the menu. I had to try it. It was delicious and for a moment I thought, "what the hell am I doing, I love meat, I am never giving it up", then I swallowed the bite and collected my thoughts, just a small moment of weakness. The way I see it, people deserve little slip ups, how many smokers have you seen with the patch?? Anyways, I made up for it after and had a salad with fish. I feel light again. Tomorrow is a new day, one without meat and perhaps with a workout!

1 week to eat

I have made a descision. I am giving up meat. Well, just for a week, as sort of a challenge; and, to see if I can hack it. I am starting to develop this nagging feeling in my gut, that I cannot seem to shake. Meat fabrication is ever so mean and I love animals; I certainly don't want to be one of those people who talks about how much they love animals and then eats meat, the mean kind. The million chickens in a coup, baby cows not being able to move around for the sake of tender veal kind of mean. As much as I would love to eat free range, sustainable meat, I cannot (re:b-r-o-k-e); so the only other option here and as hard as it will be, I must give up meat. This new food chapter will come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, as I love chicken, LOVE IT, when I was 18 I wanted to start a website called Chicken.com. And let's not forget the red stuff; on a hungover morning I have been known to cry out for meat, I love it red and dirty. And as awkward as I am making this, I simply want to detail to you how much I love meat. But what must be done, must be done. So for the next week, I will bid adieu to this wonderfully delicious relationship, in fine fashion; I'm having everything, chicken kiev, steak tartar, lamb chops, bacon, if it's from an animal, I am eating it...gross I know. But necessary. I am sure after the initial aftermath of this breakup, I will look and feel, as good as I (deep down) know this descision is. After all, it's only a week.