Friday, February 19, 2010

A letter to Upper Management

Dear Precise Park Link Edmonton

FUCK YOU. Not only do you own almost all the parking space allotted for Edmonton’s downtown core, you and the other parking assholes known as IMPARK; but you feel the need to continually jack people’s money, either by charging a small third world child to park for 30 minutes or eating money with your faulty machines.

Newsflash, I am on to you, those machines are programmed to steal money; you rat bastard thieves. And the number that we are supposed to call for “inquiries” leads nowhere; but you knew that already didn’t you?


Would it kill you to have a FREE DAY every once in a while?

For the record I am NEVER paying again and any ticket you leave on my dash, I will proceed to wipe my ass with. If I come across one of your minions writing a ticket in my direction, you better believe the “black” in me will come out to play. That’s right, I will assault the attendant; and they won’t be able to identify me, because we all look the same anyways; I bet that’s what you think. Because along with being complete fucking assholes, I bet your racists too; yes, I went there.

And don’t you for a second think that the “tow on next invoice” scares me. I invite you to suck a disease ravaged dick while being mauled by a pit bull; yes, you read correctly, I really hate you that much.

It is now war, I will waterlog your phone lines, your fax machines and your email accounts with hate mail, TONS OF IT; because I think you deserve it; and you should get what you deserve and NO, what you deserve is NOT the $35.00 you think I am going to pay; sometimes being an asshole is THE ONLY WAY to get shit done.

Precise Park Link Edmonton
10558 - 115th Street,
Edmonton, AB T5H 3K6
T. 780.428.0007 or 1.877.426.0007
F. 780.428.1457

Long story short, Precise Park Link, I think you suck; and your kids are probably ugly too.

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