The Dream

Yesterday I was in a “woe is me” kind of mood; it was just one of those days. The usual things were getting me down; I have no money, this time I really have no money. Yes there is cash in my wallet but it is spoken for; and, I cannot get into my apartment without my mother physically letting me in. Did I mention that I am broke?

Still wallowing I made my way down to the parking garage, the elevator stopped at the floor after mine and the lovely janitor began to load all his cleaning gear in. I see him every now and again and he is always very friendly; I would even go as far as to describe him as smiley. This time he seemed especially happy to see me, as he had loads of shit and my help was a nice gesture. Truth be told I did it for my own karma, but that is beyond the point. We finally got everything loaded and the man wipes the sweat from his brow and looks me in the eye and says “life in Canada for a newcomer is hard”, the elevator “bings” and he smiled and got out. For some reason that really got to me. Here is this man, struggling to make ends meet and yet he is still smiling.

I felt sad for him and for every newcomer to Canada. My parents are immigrants; hell, my grandmother slept in a subway station in her first years in Canada. It’s hard grinding coming to a new country and attempting to “make it”. My grandparents left their homeland, their friends and their children (for the first few years), all so that we (my parents, cousins and I) could have this life; all for the dream. And here I am able bodied, living at home essentially rent free; and I am bitching about FOB’s when there are people who struggle tooth and nail just to live their dream, lugging brooms and vacuums in and out of elevators for $8 dollars an hour.

This man was probably looking at me thinking that I had it all, and all I manage to do is bitch. Yes some of my bitching is of the hilarious observational nature (and surely will not stop any time soon) but this man jolted me out of my shitty mood. How can I be in a shitty mood, when my biggest worry is putting gas in my vehicle and making sure I buy advance tickets to Avatar?...Which by the way is STILL showing sold out shows.

Today my mood is much better, because I really have nothing to be upset about.