Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Fuck

I am sure you have all noticed I have quite a fondness for the word “Fuck”; I simply love the word. Since I first uttered those words from my lips I was hooked. I was the kid who taught other kids how to swear; bitch was good one and so was shit but FUCK was the real deal. There was no other word to pretend you said, so if a teacher heard you say it, you were, for lack of a better word, fucked. Shit could be ship and a Bitch is a female dog; but, fuck was for the hardcore kids who just didn’t give a what? Fuck.

Fuck is perfect. It is like the chicken of vocabulary, it can be so many things. Fuck has become more than profanity, it’s an adjective for fuck sakes. When something is really amazing, it is FUCKING amazing; or when something really sucks, it FUCKING sucks. If something is green its green, but the most vibrant blinding green is FUCKING green. The word “Fuck” just drives it home.

I read the other day that saying or yelling “Fuck” in fact does help when something painful happens, it helps with pain management. It’s all in the mind of course, but it’s all about the mind; my new motto (as of right now, so as to prove my point) is if you can fuck my mind you can fuck my body. And you know it’s true, the first thing that happens when you stub your toe, you always, without fail, yell “fuck “(or fudge for the Mormons) as loud as you can; you can admit, we are all friends here. The more children around to hear the better; especially the “repeat everything that is said” age group, there is nothing cuter than someone else’s child running around saying fuck, fuck, fuck.

And let us not forget the best connotation of fuck there is; and, that is fucking itself. Life is made infinitely better by fucking; bad mood, get fucked and bad mood gone. Headache, get fucked, headache gone. Literally and figuratively, FUCK is perfect. Except of course when I get “fucked” over, I got seriously fucked over this summer and that shit sucked; but, I got laid shortly after it happened and you know what? Bad mood gone!

Now I am not saying this to be crass or controversial; this is simply my homage to a word that I hold so very dear; a word that has been there since I was a terrorist on the playgrounds, in times of pain and in times of extreme pleasure.

I love you so fucking much, Fuck; you are the best FUCKING word ever.

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